


Her

by Catknight



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, Mentions of Blood, angsty ending, fluffy beggining, mentions of major injuries, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 19:59:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19325077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catknight/pseuds/Catknight
Summary: Of course, she’d never kissed anyone else before her, so she doesn’t really have a comparison, but it would be a heresy, in Mikan’s mind, to imply there was someone better. No, no one would ever be as good at kissing Mikan as Mahiru.





	Her

She smelled like summer. She smiled brighter than the sun, and she tasted like the first rain after a hundred-year drought. Her hair burned like fire in the sun, as red as the sunset on a clear night. When she was excited, her eyes sparkled like freshly dewed grass and oh was it ever so lovely to look into them. Her lips, often slightly red and bleeding from being pulled on by her teeth, were captivating, and they stole Mikan’s breath away often enough that she could tell you with exact certainty that they were the best lips in the world. Of course, she’d never kissed anyone else before her, so she doesn’t really have a comparison, but it would be a heresy, in Mikan’s mind, to imply there was someone better. No, no one would ever be as good at kissing Mikan as Mahiru.

When Mahiru laughed, it made the room light up. Her laugh made Mikan feel like the world was ending and beginning again at the same time. The feeling of butterflies in one’s stomach couldn’t even begin to describe how Mikan felt whenever she heard Mahiru laugh. So, she made it one of her many life’s goals to make Mahiru laugh whenever she could. Every corny joke, every mention of a meme that Mikan didn’t quite understand but knew Mahiru would appreciate. A comment here or there that Mikan just knew Mahiru would hear and immediately start to giggle at. Anything Mikan could do to hear Mahiru laugh, she would do. She just wishes she could have the chance to do it again, one last time.

Sometimes, when Mahiru was mad at her, she’d give Mikan the silent treatment. It was rare, and the number of times it had happened Mikan could count on one hand. But it had happened. And it made Mikan scared, every time. Scared that she’d go back to being alone again. Scared she’d never get to see Mahiru smile at her again, never get to hear her laugh at another one of the corny jokes Mikan made that nobody but Mahiru believes she makes, never get to kiss her on the beach as the sun is going down and Mahiru’s there, splashing around in the ocean with a wide grin on her face that just makes Mikan’s insides squeeze enough that she had to reach out and kiss her. The fear would keep her up, and it would make her sick. After the third time this happened, Mahiru promised to never use the silent treatment with Mikan again, as seeing what it had done to Mikan had broken her heart apparently. It didn’t stop the nagging thoughts in Mikan’s head that told her that Mahiru would do it again, would leave her. But it as good enough. Mikan hopes Mahiru will forgive her. For doing the thing that Mahiru promised not to do to her. And to do it forever at that. But, if Mikan could do it again, she would. In a heartbeat.

Whenever Mahiru blushed, Mikan always wished that she was the one with the camera. They were not rare instances, but they were uncommon enough that Mikan believed it was well under 25 times that Mahiru had blushed from something Mikan or someone else had said. In comparison to Mikan, who was constantly blushing, Mahiru’s blushes were something to be cherished, to hold onto tightly in her memories. Like that time on the beach, when Mahiru’s hair was glowing, and her smile was so peaceful and happy and content and Mikan kissed her like she was the air, like she needed Mahiru’s lips to breathe, like she was something to be worshipped. When Mikan had pulled back, Mahiru was red to her ears, breathing heavily and looking so beautiful that it stole Mikan’s breath away all over again. It was then that she had reaffirmed her love for Mahiru, standing in the freezing water on the beach as the sun set behind them, holding Mahiru’s hands in hers. As Mikan coughs violently, feeling like the air is being crushed out of her lungs, that she wishes that she could relive that moment again, just so she could tell Mahiru how much she loved her. She wishes she could tell her how much she loved her now. 

Whenever Mahiru got sick, Mikan would panic and go to extremes, despite the fact that she was the Ultimate Nurse and knew that panicking didn’t help the patient get better. She’d make endless amounts of porridge, constantly replace the cool washcloth on Mahiru’s head, and continue on like that for the whole duration of Mahiru’s illness. While Mahiru, she would just lay there and watch Mikan fret and flit about with a smile on her face. And whenever Mahiru was finally well again afterwards, she would lightly scold Mikan for going so overboard, especially when it usually resulted in Mikan getting sick as well. But, Mikan didn’t mind. She would do anything for Mahiru. She would even have died for her. But now, right now? Mikan just wishes she could live for her.

Mikan adored the look on Mahiru’s face whenever she was taking photographs. The concentrated look in her eyes, the occasional bit of tongue peeking out from her lips as she worked. It as adorable, and when Mikan told her so, she’d gotten one of those rare blushes and a quiet thank you. It was both beautiful and yet a little sad as it felt like Mahiru didn’t agree with her words. When she confronted Mahiru about it later, Mahiru gave her a tight-lipped smile and told her that people used to make fun of the faces she made when she took pictures. That they used to make fun of her face in general. The sadness that was displayed across Mahiru’s face at this subject was by far one of the worst emotions she’d ever helped put on Mahiru’s face, so she kissed it off her and changed the subject, all while vowing to herself silently in her head that she would compliment Mahiru more so that Mahiru would never feel that way again. As Mikan lies here, eyes going glassy, skin losing color, internal bleeding and a crushed rib cage to boot, she wonders if she succeeded in that vow. She prays that she did. And she regrets that she will once again be the one putting a look of sadness upon Mahiru’s face.

You see, Mikan loves everything about Mahiru. She loves her smile, she loves her laugh, she loves the way she looks at Mikan when she thinks Mikan isn’t looking. Mikan loves how Mahiru scolds her whenever she’s reckless, how her brows furrow whenever she’s stuck on a problem, or frustrated by something. She loves the way Mahiru smells like the beach on a summer’s evening, one where the sky is clear enough that the sunset’s hues settle in and create a beautiful atmosphere. She loves Mahiru’s smile, the way her lips part as she gives Mikan a wide, toothy grin, or when she gives her one of her gentle and loving smiles, the kind that makes Mikan’s insides melt a little. She loves the feeling of Mahiru’s lips on hers, the way they fit together like two perfect puzzle pieces, created to complete each other. She loves how Mahiru’s eyes sparkle in the sunset, the way they seem to bounce with excitement whenever Mahiru herself is excited about something. She loves Mahiru’s hair, the way it smells after a shower, especially one where she used Mikan’s shampoo instead of her own, and the way it feels when she runs her hand through it. Mikan just loves Mahiru, unconditionally, and always will.

So, as Mikan lies here on her deathbed, which is currently the middle of the road, after getting run over by a car trying to save a small child, she wonders if Mahiru will forgive her. She wonders if Mahiru knows she smells like the sun. She wonders if Mahiru knows that her smile gave Mikan a reason to live at times, when all she wanted was to die. She wonders if Mahiru knows that to Mikan, Mahiru is her home. And she prays. Prays that Mahiru won’t cry for too long. She prays that Mahiru will forgive her for leaving her alone, for putting her through an eternal silent treatment, one that Mikan won’t ever be able to break. And as Mikan’s eyes close for the last time, she prays that Mahiru knew how much Mikan truly, and deeply loved her.


End file.
